Sing For Absolution
by Mvampirefreak
Summary: This wasn't meant to happen... The words echoed repeatedly through Natasha's mind like a racing heartbeat. She could feel her heart beating along with her thoughts, but her body would not, or rather could not, move. She stared, eyes wide open in horror, at the body that lay beneath her bloodied hands.


_This wasn't meant to happen..._ The words echoed repeatedly through Natasha's mind like a racing heartbeat. She could feel her heart beating along with her thoughts, but her body would not, or rather could not, move. She stared, eyes wide open in horror, at the body that lay beneath her bloodied hands. She willed her memory to reveal to her how this had happened and why, but all she could remember was two ice cold blue eyes staring back at her before everything turned a ghastly green color.

"It's quite a shame you can't remember your work, Agent Romanov." A voice floated to her from behind the trees. Instinctively, she twisted her body around to crouch defensively above the body.

"Who's there?" The trees waved back and forth from the wind until a figure appeared from the shadows. As soon as she saw the green leather, she knew exactly who it was, "Loki." she spat his name like poison in her mouth.

"Miss me?" He chuckled. Natasha's eyes bore into him with hatred and if looks could kill, there'd be about fifty daggers penetrating every inch of his body.

"What are you doing here?" She went straight to business. This had to be because of him.

"Me? Oh, just watching art be made." He gestured to the body that lay beneath her.

"So, you did this? You killed him?" Loki laughed once more and shook his head.

"Oh, no. This is all _your_ beautiful work, Agent Romanov. I did nothing... well, other than encouraging you." Loki began to walk towards Natasha, but she pulled out her gun and pointed it at him before he could get any closer.

"What do you mean? I-I don't remember-"

"Of course you don't. Here, let me jog your memory a bit." Loki's hand waved in the air and glowed a ghastly green like before and suddenly she was watching what had happened.

 _Natasha watched as she walked through the woods with him when, suddenly, he stopped. He glanced back at her with cold, glowing, blue eyes and lunged at her with a knife. She watched herself try to get his attention by calling his name, even screaming it at him as he tackled her to the ground._

" _I'm not finished yet, Nat." Natasha heard him whisper in her ear as he hovered above her. Suddenly, something changed about herself and she watched as she kicked him off of her. The knife flew into the grass ahead of them and she jumped up to wrap her legs around his neck before twisting her body and snapping his neck. After his body fell to the ground, Natasha watched as she stood up like nothing had happened and walked over to where the knife had fallen. She picked up the knife and walked back over to him and straddled his waist. Natasha watched as she waved the knife above his chest and just as she was about to plunge it into his chest, she stopped. The knife hung just a few centimeters from his chest before she ripped open his shirt. Natasha stared at herself as she focused her attention on his pale chest. She brought the knife to his skin and began carving into his chest as if she was writing something on a Halloween pumpkin. After she'd finished writing whatever on his chest, Natasha watched in horror as she moved the knife up to his neck and made a long, jagged cut across his neck that looked like a quivering smile. As if that wasn't horrifying enough, with a blinding speed she gripped the knife between her hands and drove the knife into his chest._

"Well?" Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked back at his body in horror. _No, I couldn't have..._ Slowly, she lifted his shirt up and looked at what was written on his chest: You're a monster. Natasha screamed before crawling away from his body.

"Ah, now you remember!" Loki crouched beside her and shook his head, "Relax, Agent Romanov. I'd say Agent Barton is your best piece of work so far." Natasha froze.

"Best? What do you mean-" Loki's hand gripped her forehead and, suddenly, images of people shifted through her head like a gory presentation. They were all the same, beaten, bloodied, cut up like pumpkins. Natasha felt like throwing up at the sight of them, there had to have been over twenty people flash before her eyes.

"Thirty-five, actually. Well," He looked over at the newest piece in the collection, "thirty-six." The tears flowed freely as she crawled back over to him. His eyes were still open and they'd gone back to their beautiful shade of gray.

"No..." Natasha wailed as Loki's laughter echoed through her head, "I couldn't have-" Loki was hovering above her shoulder now.

"Oh, but you did, Agent Romanov. And you will again." Loki's laughter faded as he began to walk away.

"No!" Natasha roared in grief filled anger as she reached for her gun, only to find that Loki had taken it. He stared back at her as she sank to the ground and a sob ripped through her body.

"Pull yourself together, Agent Romanov. You work for me now." Loki tossed Natasha's gun back at her and disappeared as quickly as he'd appeared through the trees, and leaving her to grieve over the body. Natasha's hands cupped his cheeks and another sob broke through her as she fell to her knees in front of his body. _I'm a monster,_ the words echoed through her head like a silent mantra. _I'm a murderer, a killer. I did this._ She knew her ledger had been dripping, but now it was gushing red. _I killed them... all of them._ Natasha brought her lips to his for a final kiss and then rested her forehead against his. _I'm so sorry…_

"Goodbye, Clint."


End file.
